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Question: Did I overreact?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I have been dabbling in the lifestyle now for about 4 years. About a year ago we met a local couple and started spending a lot of time together, this all started with the girls playing and the guys watching until the girls would feel "on display" and invite us to join them. At first it was all soft swing but things moved on to full swap which was all great until one night....
It was the other guys birthday and my wife, his wife and I had decided it would be fun for my wife to dress up in something incredible and be laying in his bed with a big bow wrapped around her. The plan was for him to see this and then for us all to get together which all worked out fine until his wife and I were done and went to clean up, he was having some performance anxiety so my wife locked the the other woman and I out of the room. I got upset and let it be known, I left, came back about a half hour later and they were back in the room with the door locked again..Needless to say, I got mad again and they could not understand. They both said "you got to cum, why shouldn't he?" I know your answer will problably be that we had a lack of communication. I just want to know if I over-reacted or not.
thanks, Ballistic

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

First of all, we dont know what your rules are about separating... etc.

We don't think that you over-reacted at all... thats how you felt at the moment... and you were entitled to that feeling... and your feelings deserved alittle more respect from everyone involved... including YOU !

What we mean is that leaving, or walking away... instead of standing firm with your feelings probably gave them the wrong impression. What could they have seen behind a locked door? And you basically gave up on your own feelings.....

The logic of "you got to cum, why shouldn't he?" is really rediculous. One person's climaxing doesnt give anyone else the license to do whatever they please. Was it your fault that he was having performance anxiety? If your rules were not to separate.... those are the rules.

There is no way in the world you will ever be able to convince us that locking your husband out of a room was the right thing to do. That borders on cruelty.

We can play Monday morning quarterback and disect everything you should have and could have done... but the bottom line is that when one part of a couple is not pleased with something that is going on.... everything else should be cast aside and you guys should call TIMEOUT to discuss it.

This is also another example of the caution we try to impose on people about getting too close to another couple. We have seen things like this occur time after time.

Its just natural that as you grow closer to another couple you definately will do things with and for them that you would not for a couple you just met.

The bottom line is that couples come and go... friends come and go... but as a couple you guys are the only people that really matter.

In the future... if something is troubling you... what you need to do is stand your ground and be even if its uncomfortable... deal with it right there and then... or you will find that you will feel much much worse about it later on.

Even if the other couple never speaks to you again... the two of you will have one less issue to deal with... and one it will ultimately be something that brings you closer... rather than an issue that divides you.
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