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Question: Is race playing a part in our progress?

Dear Lounge Advice,
My husband is Caucasian and I am African American. We are both attractive, positive, well educated, professionals. We have tried to connect with several couples on the LL website with little, to no luck, using the emailing techniques suggested on LL. We also attend LL events and house parties. We “believe” that we have created a nice profile with classy, sexy photos. Is our lack of response an interracial/race issue? I’ve noticed that a few other couples of color mention in their profile that they are “black, however they are approachable”. Some have even gone as far as to state in their profile, “don’t worry, our color will not come off and get on you”. Is such a profile disclaimer a necessity to couples; who are not of color; to ease preconceived thoughts and raise an interest in dating a couple who is not Caucasian? Is there something that we are missing on our website profile? An honest response is welcome.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Here are a couple of things I noticed when I looked at your profile:

1) You are in Washington state. This is not one of LL's most populated areas. Geographical proximity is a huge factor in online success. You are at a disadvantage merely because of your place of residence. IF you are willing to travel, I highly suggest that you place that in your profile text. Otherwise, if couples are too far away from you, interest may decline.

2) Neither one of you show your faces in any of your pictures. This is a huge part of the decision-making process when others look at your profile.

As to your question about a racial 'disclaimer' of sorts- NO, you shouldn't have to put this in your profile. If anyone is put off by color, a disclaimer is useless. Everyone has their own personal tastes, so if they like what they see, they will linger. If not, they will move on. You shouldn't have to 'sell' your skin color.

If you want more exposure, I recommend getting more involved in chat/webcamming, and/or the forums. Although the forums require a thick skin, they are great for getting your names out there to the more people.

In the meantime, keep trying to reach out. Consider posting face pics in your private album, and don't let geography deter you.
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