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Question: Going too slow?

Dear Lounge Advice,

I'm wondering if I'm here for the right reasons. We've been part of the lifestyle for a couple years but have very limited experience playing with others. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm 100% into it. What I do enjoy is going to the parties, dressing sexy, flirting and meeting people that are cool and open minded as most people seem to be that are in the lifestyle.
My issue is that, I feel like a tease. In fact, we've been labeled as a tease. For now, I have no interest in being with another guy. More interested in FMF...but even that is limited and takes the right girl. So I'm wondering if I should be in the lifestyle. I know it's healthy to take it slow, but am I taking it too slow? We've met a few couples that we enjoy hanging out with, but because we have yet to play, they have disappeared.
I should note this is more my issue and not my husbands. I know he would like it if I played more at parties...even if it's just with him.
But the bummer is meeting cool people and when we don't put out they don't want to have anything to do with us or like I said, call us a tease.



Dear (Anonymous),

Let people think what they want about you.

Bottom line: You have this little thing I like to call "standards". If people get pissy because they don't get action out of you, that's their problem, not yours.

There is no such thing as too slow in the lifestyle. There IS such a thing as allowing your comfort level to guide you, which is what you are doing.

So keep having fun, and don't worry about how fast or slow you're going, or how you think people perceive you.

One note of caution: Do be careful about how much you flirt, since that can send the wrong message. That confuses people, especially when a main intention in this lifestyle is to have sex. Don't give people the wrong idea if you don't intend on doing anything with them.
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