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Question: Wondering how to handle his interest in this

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are new to the Lifestyle and have only been with one couple which was just okay. We really haven't sought out anyone else and we haven't been to any clubs.

We have read many profiles and have responded to those who have wish listed us.

I think it is safe to say he is much more interested in making this more of a part of our regular life than I am.

However, when we share our fantasies and have had a few cocktails, we often talk about playing with others.

He keeps saying he'd like to make friends with others and then have benefits if it works out that way.

The thing is my husband rarely can commit to times to get together with our vanilla friends or even me. Yet I find that he makes time to communicate with others and set up times to meet for cocktails and get to know one another.


I've also noticed that he is now exercising and getting a tan where he never was overly concerned about it.

He is on the LL site daily, and with so many profiles showing pictures of very toned and very tan bodies, I am suspect that he is trying to look good for potential playmates.

Recently he voluntarily gave up drinking and it seems that his overindulgence in liquor has been replaced with his overindulgence in thinking about the Lifestyle.

It seems that his priorities are more the Lifestyle than our regular life and that is rubbing me wrong and I'm very turned off by it.

When I try to express my concerns he is defensive and has even said to 'take us of the site then'.

Its just not feeling right to me and I'm not sure if removing our profile from the site is over reacting or is appropriate until we figure this out.

Thanks for any advice you can offer.



Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

First, do this: Go to the section on the advice mainpage entitled "Relationship Advice"


Do some reading in the "Feelings and Desires" section of that category. Yours is a failry common question, and you will find a good deal of information/advice I have given about the subject in the past. You will probably find the answer to your question and more.

If you still need elaboration about your situation, come on back to me and ask away.
Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!