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Question: Am I having normal reactions?

Dear Lounge Advice,

Recently we have been in email communication with another couple although we have yet to meet them.

We would really like to but our kids, work and vacation schedules just haven't allowed it yet.

Recently in a hot night of play between the two of us, my husband said he fantasized a few times during that week of being with the other woman based upon her pictures.

I thought it was okay at the time, and even though we have a GREAT sex life I am feeling a bit weird about what he said.

I thought the Lifestyle was to enhance our fantasies as a couple not for him to fantasize about another woman.

Am I just being jealous and insecure? Is this a normal reaction I'm having?




Dear (Anonymous),

It's perfectly normal to be a tad bit jealous, since that's a natural part of or instinct when it comes to our partners. A little bit of jealousy is okay, if kept in check. If it consumes you, that's something that can open a rift in your relationship. Of course, he needs to be sensitive to your feelings, and watch how he expresses himself, both verbally and non-verbally.

This IS a normal reaction you are having. Most women feel it at the outset of this journey. Some men feel it as well.

Fantasies will be a natural part of this. For men, who are more visually driven than us, it is very much an integral part.

If he is still showing you physical attention, I wouldn't too much into it. If his attention to you wanes, and he continues to express these desires, then you should voice your feelings.

It couldn't hurt for both of you to sit down and have an open, honest talk about getting into this. Perhaps if you share your feelings, you will gain back more security.

If you're not sure of how to communicate at first about this, there is a piece in the relationship advice section here that details the things that you can both discuss together to build a better swinging foundation.

Here are two articles I have written that may help out:


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