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Question: After seeing their pictures realized that there was no physical attraction.

Dear Lounge Advice,
Hi my husband, and I are new to this lifestyle. Only a couple motnhs now. We have chatted with a few couples, and have had some great times. We have chatted with a few couples who were not comfortable sending face pictures right away. That was fine with us. We chatted until they were ready to send face pictures,and enjoyed that chatting we did have with them, but after seeing their pictures realized that there was no physical attraction. We don't want to be shallow, and say it is all about looks, but we both feel that we need to be physically, and personality compatible with other couples in order for things to progress. How do we respectfully deal with this? Also how do we respond to e-mails from couples that are intrested in us, but we do not feel the same? I know that I/we sound picky, but we are sharing a very private part of our sexual lives with others and need to feel comfortable. I/we don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Thanks for your time.



Dear (Anonymous),

The way that we have handled the situation where people are hesitant to send pictures is to just tell them that this is all all about attraction and chemistry... and if there is no attraction... the chemistry doesnt matter at all.

If you continue to have conversations and communications with couples whose pictures you dont see... you are going to fall into the same position time after time.

About the ones you have corresponded to already... we are all big boys & girl here... although no one wants to hurt anyone elses feelings... you have to think about yourselves first and foremost. You should never have to appologize for being picky.. the only one you owe anything to is your partner.

Just be frank and to the point... tell them in an email that you enjoyed the communications that you have had.. and you would love to remain friends.. but as far as anything physical is concerned... you dont think that you guys make a very good match. END OF STORY.

If may seem weird at first.. but when you realize they are not going to fold up in each others arms and cry for the next 3 weeks because you are not attracted to them.... it will be ok. Life goes on. Every pot has its cover.
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