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Question: Reluctant to post pics

Dear Lounge Advice,

My girlfriend and I are new to the site, and relatively new to the lifestyle. I'm an open book and am comfortable with my flaws and shortcomings. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is more protective of her secrets... until she gets to know someone. So as a result, she doesn't want any of her personal pictures up on the site, even with identifying features obscured or removed altogether. I can understand this, knowing the type of relationship she was in before me, and I respect it. At the same time, I know that others might not trust us without photos.

How would you approach this, wanting to post photos, but at the same time wanting to maintain your partner's comfort level?




Dear (Anonymous),

You're right. Other will not want to pursue you both, *especially* without photos of the woman.

You should really try to relay this to her and let her know about the private album feature on LL. It's a more secure option, and even having a face obscured and placed in the private album is better than nothing.

If it makes her feel better, tell her my deal-
I've been VERY prominent in lifestyle circles for about ten years, have been the public face/owner of a swingers' site, and the advice columnist (full photos) for almost that amount of time. I'm a former porn actress with many films still curculating---

My point? I'm an elementary school teacher. Yet I have never had a single issue arise (knock on wood)

If she insists on the strict protocol for the pictures, then you have no choice but to acquiesce. But she will soon see that almost everyone will request pictures of her.

Otherwise, you will both just have to rely on going to events to see people face to face. Online interaction may become a moot point if she wants to keep pictures out of the equation.

Tell her about the implications of this, and if she is still adament, then abide by her wishes.
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