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Question: As a bicurious female, should I wait until I meet a girl who just rocks my world to go all the way?

Dear Lounge Advice,

Hi there!

I am bicurious, but not bisexual. I am not attracted to women sexually, but the thought of being with one is very exciting. I'm not sure if this is normal, and maybe once I'm with one I'll change my mind (find them very attractive?)...but here's my question.

We're finally exploring this lifestyle. We've met a few couples, never playing with them, but having fun hanging out and getting comfortable with them. We met a couple who is a bit more agressive (exactly what we needed) and pushed us past that line. We didn't go past first base (lots of kissing and touching) with the other couple, but finished with our own. We've talked with the other couple since and she's very excited to explore me more (I haven't kissed her yet, but she's kissed parts of my body). We're planning to see them again soon. I'm also excited about exploring her, but not because I'm attracted to her. I'm excited by the THOUGHT of being with her. I guess it's using her (not that she won't enjoy herself), and I have a hard time with that. I know that is what this lifestyle is about, we're basically using the other couples to heighten our own sex life as a couple, (I think I read that on your personal faq's) but I still have an issue with it.

Is it okay to explore this further? Or should I wait until I meet a girl who just rocks my world and have her as my first?



Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

What you are explaining is very normal and a lot of women go through the same things. It is very hard to play with someone if you are not attracted to them... not that you cant do it.. but trust us it is much more exciting when there is someone who excites you physically.

Whether you go any further with that same woman or not is a very personal decision that only you can make. If you are uncertain.. why dont you put them off right now.. and try to find another woman that turns you on more in the meantime.. and if that doesnt happen... call the other one again.

No matter how aggressive someone is.. you have to want to do it in order to really enjoy yourself.. .it sounds like you are excited about the possibility.. but way too concerned about the significance of the "First" experience.

Trust us it really doesnt mean anything. Zoey's first experience sucked... and if she allowed that to determine her future we would be going to the mall on Saturday nights then go to sleep.

You may find that you have a great experience with this woman.. and next time you have an earth-shattering one...

One thing is for sure... you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to explore them. Have Fun!
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