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Question: Taking it one step at a time

Dear Lounge Advice,

So I have never been in the life style but have always been interested. My new wife is very sexually charged and multi-orgasmic. We are exploring some at-home BDSM as she loves to be submissive. We are both exhibitionists and voyeurs. We had sex numerous times in front of the windows in Chicago on our honeymoon, with a full audience in the hotel across the street. She has, at times, said she would like another girl to satisfy her. The concern is that she says she cannot see herself allowing another women to be with me. I love her and will always put her first. We talk about finding a club/party to go to where we could have sex in front of others and watch others. If it never progresses beyond that, I am ok with that. Am I in the right place? Is there pressure to "share". Can I find parties/people who are willing to work with where we are at. Thanks for your thoughts...



Dear (Anonymous),

You can start with an off-premise club, which means that sex is not allowed on the premises. Usually, 'soft-swingers' tend to hand out here, and you will find more 'girl-girl only' couples.
Many couple start out with these wants and/or limits. In time, a comfort level is attained, and she will probably feel more apt to branch out from girl-girl. BUT, you need to let her set the terms for now and go at her own speed. If you don't push, she will feel more comfy branching out. She needs to feel secure and to feel that she is number one. Keep her confidence and security levels top notch, and everything will progress in time. She is your top priority, and if she feels that way, she will explore more.
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