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Question: Fessing up to a newbie mistake (it happens)
Dear Lounge Advice,
We are new to LS and have set very clear ground rules.
I always thought my husband and I had a great and strong relationship. On a recent Vegas trip I broke that trust and want to know how to rebuild it. It was supposes to be a birthday celebration in Vegas for my husband but turn into me being selfish. We hooked up for a mfm and when we got back to the room I paided attention only to the single guy and left my husband out. I didn't put my husband first. He tried to join in but I was too drunk and ignored him. He was embarrassed by the situation not to mention mad. I wish I could take that day away but I can't. I wish I could take away the hurt but I cant. I broke the most important item in a marriage which is trust. We talk about this very openly and how different situation put him right back to that day and to right back to those emotions. We have had another mfm since then and it was great but afterwards when we talk he indicated it brings up some of those old feelings. It has only been six weeks since this happen how do we get pass this? We love LS
You did the best thing already by admitting your wrong-doing to him. Your remorse speaks volumes and he will take this to heart, even if he doesn't show it initially.
For him to partake in another MFM says a lot. He still has trust in you if this happened. I recommend continuance of humility and dedication to the most important cause: him. By being honest and admitting your guilt and remorse, you are showing an enormous amount of dedication to your partner, thus building trust.
Give him some time and continue your honesty, and it will get better. Many of us get over-zealous when we first start out. It happens, and as long as you learn from your mistakes, you'll be okay.
As it goes with most things in life....
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