Dear Lounge Advice, This time of year I like to dress as Santa and have my wife dress up as a reindeer. I like to do her from behind while she makes crazy deer noises. Is this weird? Santa Sincerely, (Anonymous)

Dear (Anonymous), Nah. I have a secret kink for Mayonaisse Frog Wrestling myself. Just don't do her TOO hard from behind and cram her face into a wall. Unless you want her to look like Rudolph. The red nose might turn you on and all, but she won't be able to sniff your corn-chip scented balls anymore if you do that.