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Question: Broken Rules or MisCommunication?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My Husband and I are very new to the Lifestyle. We had been to a couple of clubs and had a great time. We met a couple, and I did the meet and great with the other Mrs. I really liked her and there was no doubt my husband would also. Here is my dilema In the past when we have been with other couples, it was a "no brainer" couples rule that a condom was necessary if ther was going to be intercourse. The last time we were with someone, my husband stopped a man and told him to put on a condom prior to enterng me, just recently. This weekend with the lovely lady and her husband, we were swaping partenres and they were both on their way in, I said hey, a condom? The guys I was with said "if you want that then lets go back to our origional partenr" Which would have been fine. I was totally expecting my husband to come back to me; But he didn't. He jumped right on in with no condom, and so did the guy I was with. I wsa not happy, and the guys I was with, was just trying as the condon issue killed the moment for him. So I got to watch my husband be totally intimate with the prettiest lady he had ever had his hands on.I would like to cut him a little slack for loosing it on her beauty but we had rules in our partnership, now it feel like a double standard.. Dilema? He made me feel like if his option was coming back to my wife, then i'm not wearing a condom, because he wasn't going to loose his chance with the Beauty. That pretty much crushed me and rules that we had in place as a couple. Now I'm resentful, and feel like he won't be there for me if I were to get in an uncomtable situation. Am I making to much of this? Ho or can it be fixed?
Thank you!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

It can be fixed with communication. You just need to talk about how this made you feel, and get a read on what he was thinking.

Well, I'm sure he wasn't thinking stright, of course. Excitement can cloud our judgement, and I doubt he knew how you'd react. I'd cut him some slack for that incident, but I would also let him know that it WILL be handled differently next time this situation occurs.
You both need to present these type of hypothetical situations to each other and decide beforehand the best way to handle things.
Even when you encounter a novel situation, you should both talk about how the communication will go.

For me, I've always preferred to use the following signal to let my partner know that I'm not comfortable with something: I grab his hand and squeeze, hard. This is my '911' signal that something isn't feeling quite right. When the signal is given, he and I quickly get back together in bed and whisper in each others' ears under the guise of making love.
You both need a Time-Out signal so that you are't left hanging again.

But please, communicate about what happened, and continue to do so. If you don't do that, I can't help you further.
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