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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Question: Lied to be married man- wife found out

Dear Lounge Advice,
I am single female in the lifestyle and have only been a part of this website for a little over a month.
About a year ago I met a man that invited me back to his place for some fun. Right when I walked in, he said "oh, by the way, I am married." He then started telling me all about how they have an open marriage and it was perfectly ok to stay and play with him if I wanted to. He explained to me that he was going to tell his wife all about it and she would not only be ok with it, but be turned on by it. I was absolutely attracted to this man, so although I was skeptical, I couldn't say no to this very handsome man. We ended up spending the entire weekend together, then parted ways. I never saw him again... till now.
I attended a party that was an exclusive invite of some people I have become very good friends with, and a few others I have never met yet. It was a great party and I was having a blast. Then all the sudden, there he is.. after a year. I approached him and he instantly recognized me, although he didn't remember my name. I pulled him aside and we talked briefly about our pleasurable time together. I asked him if him and his wife were part of LL, he said no but said that many of their close friends are and they participate in the lifestyle.
Later that night, I start flirting with a very attractive female. She says, "have you met my husband?" I say, "no, not yet". she smiles then takes my hand and leads me over to.... sure enough, the man that I had met a year ago. I say, ohh, hello there! She asks if we met, and I said Yes! a year ago we did! At this time She gets very upset and drags him away while kind of yelling at him. Someone then pulls me aside and said that a year ago, they were having relationship problems, and that is the same exact time frame that I met him.
She was completely unaware of him playing with another woman without her, and she caused a bit of a scene and I felt like that horrible wench that her husband cheated with...
I guess it was wrong of me to play with him in the first place, but I assumed she had already known about it. I didn't think it was a secret he kept from her. I feel terrible. Any advice on this matter since we will eventually cross paths at another party being as though we have the same circle of friends?



Dear (Anonymous),

It's NOT your fault. You DID learn the hard way not to trust that kind of scenario ever again. What a WEASEL!!!

Do NOT be afraid to be at the same events as them. Again, that is HIS fault and he has to deal with the awkwardness of having you at the event- HE has to deal with his wife's anger. Hopefully, she doesn't blame you for any of this, and if she does, then it still doesn't matter.

He told you she was okay with it, so this is all on him. If any of your friends indicate that he is telling wifey a different story, then you need to defend yourself and tell them what really happened.

In any case, don't let his stupid stunt dampen your own fun. If he has the balls to attend an event with his wife that you're at, then more power to him.

Enjoy yourself and let them deal with their own issues. Don't own one percent of what belongs solely to them. It's not fair to you.
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