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Question: Trying 'play alone'

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife has asked me about playing separate.
This is so out of character for her. She says she likes the idea that people still find her attractive and she thought the separate play would be fun. She is open to me playing alone as well. My confusion comes from this sudden change of mind about playing alone.
Some guy has been pursuing her pretty aggressively. She has been enjoying the sexting and web cam stuff. She has shown me all of her text and we have web cammed together. I am convinced she is not hiding anything. She had a hard time asking me if she could play alone and she gave me an opportunity to stop her. I did not stop her. I am open to the idea of letting her try it. Our rule has always been try it once and if either one of us don't like it then it stops.
Does this work out for other couples? Are we setting ourselves up for disaster? Any ideas, words of caution, e.t.c.



Dear (Anonymous),

This depends on the couple. YOu both need to sit down and talk about motivations and reasons that this will be positive. Discuss different scenarios and talk about how you both would handle these scenarios. What if she gets a 'sex crush' on one person. What if someone gets too into her? How much contact is ok for her to have outside of the bedroom with a bedmate? You both need to make sure that your relationship is rock solid before you venture into this.

If at any point you are not comfy with it anymore, she needs to understand that it stops.
Talk a LOT and be honest with each other. Any miscommunication or lack thereof can result in unwanted consequences. If you both feel that this is a fantasy she can indulge, go for it.
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