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Question: How do we get on the same page?

Dear Lounge Advice,

Recently my partner and I ran into a situation:
For anonymity
We will call the other couple "couple x"

Initially I was ok with playing with them, but then the situation changed and it became high risk. Since the risk factor will not change, I no longer want to play with "couple x". I have very valid reasons for not wanting to play with "couple x" and made it clear to my partner and "couple x" that I did not want to play with them and why. Not that I don't like them as people but as playmates they are high risk. They have continued to ask us to parties and since we were friends I reasserted my concerns about playing with them thinking that with the friendship there should be respect for my views. I was not malicious about it, just assertive. When that was not respected I blocked them from our profile so that there would not be any more invites since it was causing issues between me and my partner. Because my partner does want to play with the Mrs. of "couple x" and has made it clear to them that he does, and that he has no problems with the risk factor that I see, he just sees it as something that comes with the lifestyle.

Now since I blocked them, "couple x" does not want to play with us and no longer wants to even be friends. (They have however left their privates unlocked so that my partner can see what he is missing.)

This refusing to associate with us as a couple deeply offended my partner since we were friends and he really wants to play with Mrs "couple x".

In turn my partner offended me by telling "couple x" blatantly that he really wanted to play, but couldn't because of me and how wrong he thought I was for my opinion and actions after Mr. "couple x" confronted us on being blocked from our profile even tho I had made no secret as to why I did not want to play. Then he started telling Mrs "couple x" how attracted he was to her and much fun he thought he could have at their parties and how he was sorry I was being so stubborn which offended me further.

My partner and I have been together and in the lifestyle for 5 years and quite happy. "Couple x" came into our life less than a year ago.

Since we do not have "Hall Passes" because we know that is not for us what can we as a couple do to get on the same page?



Dear (Anonymous),

Your partner is a DICK. Pure and simple. I've been with a DICK like that before, and the behavior never stopped, no matter how much of an optimist I was.
What do you do? Stick to your guns and wait and watch. I'm betting that he still continues to be a DICK, and if that's the case, he's not all about you. He's about what his cock can garner, and plays the game well.
Hold your stance and keep your guard up. If he continues to do this, you may need to take a good hard look at your value to him and whether you are willing to allow yourself to stay in that role.
To get on the same page means that are both reading the same book. That's obviously not the case. Both of your outcomes are going to be entirely different, whether you both realize or not.
Trust me, been there, done that a couple of times and have the epic t-shirt that I've burned.
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