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Question: What is the best way for my wife to follow through with her excitement of being with another woman?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I have talked about swinging and she is very turned on by the idea of a bi experience. But we just dont know what is the best way of crossing that chasm between turned on and an actual experience.

What Im wondering is, do you have any opinion on weather it is better to simply go to a lifestyle club and start off more anonymous -- , or to try to meet someone specifically off the site for our very first experience. My fear is that we meet someone the first time off of the site and we immediately feel pressured to make something happen?

How do we make it comfortable to cross the chasm?



Dear (Anonymous),

First of all it sounds as if you share the same misconception that many people do about the Couples clubs and socials/parties.

Now clubs do vary, but the vast majority of them are not simply Sex clubs where you walk into a place and people are just having sex all over the place.

Many of them are very social atmospheres where you will be getting to know the people prior to actually deciding if you want to do something... and even then... it is your choice.

Everyone is different in what they like to do so our experiences and views may differ from what works for you.. but for us... when you meet a couple and set out to go somewhere there is a lot more preplanning and assumptions that something is going to happen than in a club atmosphere where you are just there to meet people... dance.. and have fun... then if the moment and the people are right.. you can make that decision.

Also.. if the lady is looking for her first bi experience... the clubs afford a setting where bisexuality among women is more excepted than in any other venue... and there is usually a lot more touching, kissing, and more between the women so that she may easy into it and see if it is something she wants to go further with.

No matter where you go and what you do... remember that ultimately YOU guys make the decision on what you do and do not want to do. Don't let anyone influence that... don't be afraid to say NO. As in all lifestyle activities... NO means NO.
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