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Question: My husband doesn't think he could handle seeing me with another man.

Dear Lounge Advice,

My husband and I have been together for 3 and a half years, of which, we have had 3 FMF meetings. The wonderful man that he is, had agreed to bring another female into our lives as I am very bisexual. Here is the glitch.

It is very difficult to find a female who is single, so I thought maybe trying another couple.
I joined another couple sites, had several responses. I talked to him more about meeting a couple at a swing club, and he started to back out saying he just didn't think he could handle seeing me with another man.

I respect his feelings and wishes and feel he has been more than wonderful to me for accepting another female into ours lives. I really would like to be with another couple, but how can I go and say this again to him without making him feel like I'm just am not happy with him(which I am very much so!)

A big part of me says leave it alone. But another part is seeing so many great couples out there!

Any additional insight to this would be very helpful!
Thanks!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

What you are describing is very common. When we began in the Lifestyle, all we were interested in was girl/girl play.

In the beginning we met other couples but told them that our rules were just that the girls played and the men watched.

After a while we reached a comfort level where we were both ok with expanding that to more.

The whole "Lifestyle" concept is very new and different for many people and for some it takes a while for them to get a level of comfort in realizing that this is only play and there are no emotions involved.

What we would suggest is that you revisit the idea of going to the couples clubs, but make him understand that you will just be interested in girl/girl play and not play with the other men. You will be surprised just how many couples there are out there just like you who have similar rules.

There is a transformation that takes place over time and only when he reaches that comfort level. We cannot tell you when that will be but can only speak from our own experience.

If you push him in any way you are just gonna make the situation worse as he will be questioning your motivation and desire to seek out others.

Go slow and let him make the decision.. right now what you need to do is just assure him that he is the only male you are interested in.
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