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Question: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Dear Lounge Advice,
I have been in a LTR for several years. We have always been on LL.
I have always been the more experienced one with the higher sex drive, yet remained faithful.
I have always felt like his sex drive was lacking compared to mine, and that is hardly an unusual experience for me.
I have provided several FFM opportunities, which go great, but he "isn't ready" to return the favor with MMF. So I have determined he never will be, so no more 3sums until he IS ready.
He has frequently started new profiles on various hook up sites that I find when I snoop, and I just write it off to curious browsing as they seem inactive. He regularly browses CL for the hookup posts. (supposedly mainly perving pics) At one time he did email one of them, again I discovered through snooping.
I've stayed alert, but really wasn't believing anything was happening. But the fact that I repeatedly feel the need to snoop as a result certainly erodes at the relationship.
I can't help but believe that this is an indication that if the opportunity is there, he is all over it.
Meanwhile, I don't feel satisfied. Not sexually or emotionally.
We seem good for each other in so many ways. But I fear that I am just settling for good enough.
I want Love, and passion. I want my happiness and pleasure to be just as important as his..
I think he just likes the convenience of having me here.
Of course in writing this, the answer seems so clear.
So why do I ask? Maybe someone else needs to read this.


Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I want to just cry reading this. And since you have put this out there to me, I will relate my personal story to you.

I feel madly in love with a man seven years ago. We called each other 'twins' the entire time. He and I were incredibly compatible and he was charming, handsome and extremely intelligent. Not to mention witty. He was a mesmerizing person to me and I was drawn in by the magnitude of everything he had to offer.
Read this- MADLY in love.


Blind in love.

The first week I moved in with him, he was in the midst of going on business trips. I stumbled across his research of escorts for the very cities he was going to soon.

Confront, cry, receive appeasement and be placated.

I caught him multiple times over the course of our relationship sneaking porn sessions.

We were having sex 2-4 times a years. I was a retired porn actress. He didn't want me.
He wanted that.

Over and over I caught this, diving into a deep depression while my self-confidence eroded away.
I felt like I wasn't enough. That I wasn't desirable.
We would go out and rarely would he compliment me, no matter how sexy I felt I made myself.

I wasn't allowed to have a single man.
I have always been the more experienced one with the higher sex drive, yet remained faithful.
I have always felt like his sex drive was lacking compared to mine, and that is hardly an unusual experience for me.

But we still seemed so good for each other in many ways. I feared like I was settling for good enough.
I wanted love, passion. I wanted my happiness and pleasure to be just as important as his.

He liked the convenience of having me there.
Sound familiar?

In the last days, as the spark died, I felt like a ghost,
The answer WAS clear.

I'm glad YOU are the someone else reading THIS.

I loved myself to move on.

So how much do YOU love yourself?
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