Home   New Mail!  Contacts  Who's Online  Friends  Search  Advice  Forum  Blogs  Groups  Mall  Chat  My Account  Clubs  Travel  Login  
  27 members in chat107 in bOOty Call
 
Lifestyle Sexual Advice
Unicorn Training
The Bi’s the limit ;)
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
Oral Sex Condoms
Condom Etiquette
more etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
Going off the Reservation
SM looking for partner
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
Profiles
Looking to get a Real Seal
more friendship advice
  
Question: Is she ready??

Dear Lounge Advice, my girl friend an I have been in the LL since we first started dating 3 years ago. I got her involved after she told me about a threesome she enjoyed before we met. She likes to dress sexy and like when she gets attention from guys and girls, but she is very shy and can come off as stand-offish. She can get very jealous at times if she thinks I am flirting with other girls and not giving her enough attention. We have had a lot of fun mainly when she has a few to many drinks and she becomes un-shy, she will then start the conversations and the flirting. Other wise if I even talk to other girls she thinks I am flirting and not giving her enough attention. I think the LS is a healthy thing for relationships, she goes back and forth with it. Are there some sort of workshops/classes we can attend to help us understand the LS better?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I was "her" at one point when I was married. The man was more focused on other pursuits than me.

I was VERY insecure, despite the fact that I was known locally as a porn actress extraordinaire.
Why? He didn't make me feel secure enough in our relationship.

My second marriage- I RARELY got compliments from him and he NEVER pursued me for sex. Yet he felt free to hit on women at swing clubs. Hence, my insecurity and negative behavior when he paid attention to other women when we went out. Attention that he never afforded his own wife.

I'm not hinting that you are doing the same. I am merely offering my own anecdotes.

By the way, the lifestyle is NOT generally a healthy thing for relationships. That's just BS.

The lifestyle is, at best, a supplement that works for relationships that have a rock-solid foundation

There aren't any workshops/classes to help you. Just people like me, and your own common sense.
The only thing I will ask YOU is:
Do you truly value her enough to have a healthy relationship even without this lifestyle.

BE. HONEST.

You don't have to answer me. Just get past your own bullshit barrier.

Next- Are you truly showing your love to her enough that she can trust your intentions in the LS?
If the girl has to have myriad drinks..
SHE AIN'T READY.
Talk to each other.

And dude, if she isn't comfy with this when she's sober, then it's not for your.

Respect your woman. If you don't, then you can kiss the LS goodbye as a lonely male without a cool gal.

Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!