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Question: Confused and cut him off.

Dear Lounge Advice,
I'm a Unicorn. I started swinging about a year ago. I was brought in by a girlfriend who knew I was tired of all the vanilla dating games. I was having a great time playing and meeting great friends. Until I met a single man in the life. We got along very well. The non physical chemistry was amazing. we really enjoyed being with eachother. I knew I would fall for him and I knew I had to stay away from him. He asked me out. We met for a drink. He then asked me out to dinner. We didnt play. We had a phenomenal time. on the 3rd meeting we played. Same thing dinners, hand holding, telling me he misses me, wanting to be with me etc....I fell for him. He liked me.

After 5 dates I decided to end it. Because I knew I was falling and he was sending me mixed messages of wanting me in a "relationship" kind of way, then blowing me off for booty calls and such. it got really complicated. He said he was hurt and angered by my behaviors. I explained to him how and why I broke the dating thing and then he tells me that he wasnt ready for a relationship but enjoyed all the things that a relationship brings.

My gut feeling was to break it off. I kept away from him for many reasons. I moved forward because I thought he wanted what I wanted. I told him from the get go I wanted a partner.

Im so confused. Help. :( So sad.



Dear (Anonymous),

You said your peace. It's up to him now. He can either decide that you are worth it, or that his priorities lie in just casual encounters. He can't have it both ways in this case, so let him decide. Try not to fault him for his decision.

I truly admire your courage to break it off, rather than giving into your emotions. That would have hurt you so much more in the long run if you stayed in a developing relationship and truly realized that you wouldn't get what your heart truly desires.

Don't beat yourself up over it and don't waste time fretting.
So many of us would not have had the strength to stop things before they entangled our hearts in a poisonous snare. Count me as one of the women who was never as strong as you. I wish I had been in the past.
Much admiration to you, sista.
Thank you for making yourself the priority, despite the confusion it caused.
You're not confused at all. You know exactly what is healthy for you and you made the right move. If he decides to move on, then you can rest peacefully in the knowledge that you protected your own heart ;)
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