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Question: HPV- spilling the beans

Dear Lounge Advice,

Recently, we had some long time friends in town to visit. They are HSV positive (not active at the time of their visit) and hubby and I were well of that and took precautions when we were with them. Anyway, hubby invited another couple who were good friends/playmates out to party with all of us. Well, after a night on the town, everyone decided to go back to our house. Before I knew it, it was turning into a group sex event. Now, here is the problem. Our out of town friends didn't inform our local friends of their STD. Hubby and I didn't think it was our place to inform them (now we know we were wrong). So, in an effort to "protect" my friends, I pulled the hubby of our local couple out of the equation and into the other room. After the fact, I hear from my hubby that the wife of the local couple "joked" I was possessive that night and didn't let her husband have sex with the other girl. I feel absolutely awful and hate being seen that way when I thought I was doing the right thing. Needless to say, our relationship with the local couple has almost disappeared since the incident. We all still text occassionally, but we have only gotten together once since the incident. We can't tell them now about the std, as they may hate us because the wife had sex with the guy (condom was used). On the other hand, they think I'm possessive of the other hubby and I feel we have lost some good friends/play partners because of that. My husband feels bad for inviting them over knowing what would happen, but we can't change it. Also, I'm very angry at my friends with the std for not being upfront with our locals and now that friendship is very strained. I'm just at my wits end trying to figure out how to fix everything.



Dear (Anonymous),

If you haven't done so already, clear the air with this couple and let them both know of your intentions. They need to hear this, and you should certainly speak up for yourself. O
I truly believe that you made the right call in that situation. I would have done the exact same thing. Thanks for protecting your friends!
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