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Question: Lack of being approached

Dear Lounge Advice,

The wife and I are somewhat new to the lifestyle. We play at the soft swap level with a few limitations.

We attend "many" meet and greets as well as lifestyle clubs and parties. We have met dozens upon dozens of people and have even had the opportunity to have a few "fun sessions" with a few couples.

The wife is a smoking hot lady, not just in my opinion but so say others. However, we "NEVER" get approached at parties to play with other people. We never even get the chance to say no or explain we only soft swap. Same thing at the club. We put ourselves out there 100%, she dances with her dress damn near pulled up around her waist and is very sexy and outgoing.

Short of hanging a sign around our necks we have no idea what we are doing wrong. We have no problem approaching others and our previous encounters were handled smoothly on our end and turned out to be fine. Why aren't people approaching us and asking us if we'd like to join them, party with them, get naked, have fun, watch or anything? We get droves of invites online but none at the meet and greets, parties or clubs.

Any suggestions on what we can say or do to let people know we would welcome their invitation to play?

Troubled and ready to bail on the lifestyle because I'm tired of doing all the hunting instead of being the hunted.




Dear (Anonymous),

People may just be too intimidated to approach her if she is indeed that gorgeous. Trust me- I've been told that I'm intimidating and I don't necessarily consider myself smoking hot. I suggest turning the tables and fo the approaching yourselves. That way you'll take a bit of the frustration out by eliminating some of unknowns.

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