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Question: My husband is bold and uninhibited, I am not. How can I overcome this and be more agressive?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My husband and I have been together 21 years. We are very comfortable with each other. I have recently dropped the curious from bi. We have had less than 10 threesome encounters with women and 2 with another man. I'm not interested in another man, it's not even a turn-on. I like sex with my husband and another woman or two, not a couple. We both want to meet more girls than in the past. He is very uninhibited and feels comfortable approaching the subject. The problem is...I am not. Don't get me wrong, I want to, I am envious of people that are so bold. I want to go to the dances and meet people but fear it at the same time which frustrates both of us. I know... you can't let your fear guide your actions or you will end up staying home, trust me I know. We have stayed home too many times! Help me...How can I overcome this? What can I do to be more agressive? I know once we get there I would be fine.......

Help so I can have fun too!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

If your preference is just meeting single women we dont know where you got the impression that the dances/socials/clubs are full of hundreds of single bi women looking for couples. Just understand that the numbers are not that huge. They are a commodity in demand.

There is no magic advice that I can give you in this regard other than you have nothing to lose by trying. At the Lifestyle events (vs a straight club) at least there is not that fear that anyone will look at you funny for approaching them and asking... at a straight club you might get some weird looks... but so what?

Its a lot like anything else in the Lifestyle. It seems akward at first, but after you bite the bullet a few times and approach other women, it will be second nature.

There is one thing that we are confident of- you wont meet as many staying home. We are reminded of one of our favorite quotes that we tell people over and over. Wayne Gretsky once said, "You are guaranteed to miss 100% of the shots that you never take."!!!!!
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