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Question: My wife is into them but I'm not- feeling left out

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I started experimenting with the "lifestyle" about 9 months ago. Our first experiences weren't so great, mostly because our partners just didn't turn out quite the way we had hoped. Lately we have been more active in seeking out compatible partners and the result has been that we found a couple that my wife really enjoys (both of them) and I'm not really into her (sexually).

Its become a little more complicated in that the couple have also become friends in that our families have met and we occasionally plan things to do together. My dilemma is that it looks like where this is going is that my wife may have found an occasional romantic partner in both of them and since I am unwilling to take it for the team I am left out.

I guess the question is whether my feelings of envy over the new relationship are relevant and if so, is it reasonable to not want her to have regular sexual partners without me being included? Thanks! -D

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Your feelings are ALWAYS relevant!
You really need to talk to her about this. If you continue to stay silent and watch as it unfolds, it will eat you up and become cancerous, just like any other problem that goes untackled in a relationship.
Please talk to her so you can both figure out how to handle this.
If you don't voice it, the problem is on you.
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