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Question: Who should initiate the first move sexually?

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have come across an issue that we can't seem to find an answer for. We recently went to another couple's house for dinner, conversation with the possibility of playtime. Things were going well but as the night went on the female part of the other couple started to "close" herself off. At that point my husband and I both backed off and marked this as just a night out of the house, no big deal.

On the way home our conversation turned to who, in a situation where a couple invites another to their house, should initiate? Should the "invited" couple wait for them or if they seem shy should they initiate?

In the above situation there was no way we were going to try pursuing anything but in a better situation who should start?

Thank for the help!



Dear (Anonymous),

There is no etiquette that we know of so no one should feel like they have to stand on ceremony in those cases.

People should act as they feel... what we mean is that if you feel like you want to initiate something.. do it.

Usually we are more comfortable with the women taking the initial steps. If the women are both bi.. that makes it easier... but if not.. again we are more comfortable with the males being less agressive to start....

That is just our levels of comfort and we are sure that in the case of a very shy woman it is fine for the man to take the first step...

Again it is not an area of clear black and white and difficult for us to give you a clear answer. This may be something that you wish to post in the forum section and get a well rounded answer based on a broad section of opinions.
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