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Question: He doesn't introduce or include me when getting frisky

Dear Lounge Advice,
My partner very frequently gets caught up in the ladies at an event to the point that I feel that I cease to exist for him, he turns his back to me and engages other people, sometimes sexy touching/dirty dancing, you get the idea. This leaves me feeling abandoned, hurt and awkward/lonely sitting there by myself. He says that to introduce or include me would interrupt the flow of things and that my reaction of feeling hurt, excluded and jealous is unreasonable. I don't know what to do to minimize these feelings. I'm really not comfortable forcing my way in. What can i do to minimize these feelings of exclusion and hurt? Am I overreacting?


Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

He said "to introduce or include you would interrupt the flow of things". He REALLY said that? If my guy said that, I'd have car keys in hand and ready to go back home.
He won't even introduce you??
This is UTTER disrespect. He acts like he's ashamed of you.

You really need to be strong and voice your feelings again. And again. And again. And if he doesn't respect your feelings, despite your tries, you two really need to get out of this lifestyle until he understands that he's actually part of a couple.
Other swingers are going to pick up on this nonsense he's pulling and they aren't going to want to be part of the drama.

Or, what you could do (and admittedly, what I would do) is go on your own way during these events and do exactly what he's doing. EXACTLY what he's doing. Best thing is, you're a female and you can do it much easier than he can. Let's see how he reacts when you mimic his behavior. Sometimes, for people to understand what it's like to be in anothers' shoes is to actually have it presented to them in cold hard reality.
Give him a dose of his own medicine. Let's see how long it last until his gets his feathers ruffled.
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