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Question: Dealing with jealousy and discrepency in experience level

Dear Lounge Advice,
My boyfriend and I have only been dating for about a year and a half. We got serious quickly, and he was very honest with me about his "lifestyle." He had been married and in the lifestyle briefly but has enjoyed most of his experiences as a SM...years of being a very popular single male at that. Although I expressed my desires with women and was excepting of his sexuality, I wasn't so sure about this full-swap/seperate play thing...I am finding that the comfort levels of a newbie and a "seasoned veteran" to be VERY different. I enjoy the play together...all of it...MFF, MFM, another couple...but I have some real jealousy issues when I see him go off with someone else at a party or talk of play without me. Nor do I desire to partake without him. Sometimes this whole thing feels like somethings that will enhance our relationship...and sometimes it feels like our relationship hangs on the outcome of my comfort levels with it. There are times I wish he would spend more time developing our bond than finding couples to play with...thoughts?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Been there, experienced that- I understand exactly how you're feeling. What did I do? I sat him down and explained exactly how I felt and that in order for me to feel comfortable *staying* in the lifestyle, there were a couple of things that I wanted him to respect.
Everything you said to me, you need to explain to him. Try not to get emotional or defensive- be calm and rational so he takes you seriously. In this situation, my man respected me enough to adhere to my comfort zone, and just between you, me and LL, I think he is also a bit pleased that I love him enough to not want him to do something without me, or vice versa.

Just talk- If he respects you, he will respect your comfort zone and wishes.
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