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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Question: Looking for the Unicorn

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are brand new to the lifestyle. Our interest started when my wife and I discussed her interest in being with a woman. From there it turned into very real discussions about having a threesome (MFF). We have spent some time searching, but have found that the "unicorn" is indeed hard to find. She doesn't want sex with another man, but for sure wants a woman and prefers all three to be involved. being that it seems almost impossible to find a single lady (we have looked for a couple months now), what can we do? We are looking into going to a swinger event but don't want to offend any couples that may want full swap. Suggestions??L



Dear (Anonymous),

Single females are a rare commodity in the lifestyle, but they are out there.

I started off as a single female, looking to be with a woman. I never entertained joining a site such as this, since I was already overwhelmed with choices.

The thing I suggest to all couples searching for this (and trust me, there are MANY just like you with the same goal in mind) is to find female friends. Try making friends with them first. Make it very clear, that when you contact a female, your girl is looking for a friend to hang out with. Make it all about the girls, and their fun. As much as it may pain the male to start out this way, it's better in the long run. Do NOT bring up sex or 3-somes until the single girl does. Offer her, genuinely, a no-pressure environment in which she'll feel comfotable hanging out. It usually doesn't work to try to meet them for the first time by themselves. Single girls have good reason not to trust this kind of situation. Tell her where you hang out, or figure out her favorite hangout spot, and meet there.

If you get that far, just be friendly. Don't make advances, just make friends.
All of the single females that I've experienced in the past only took part in 3-somes because they felt safe, unpressured, and had a downright good time after they became friends.

Your girl is going to have to do the legwork on this, so the single fems don't think it's just some guy trying to get laid by using his bisexual wife as bait. Just be cool, don't be too eager, and plan on making friends.

As to the swinger event, you might actually find other married couples who either are searching fo the same thing or already have a sf. Don't be afraid to ask questions, the LS is a group of great people who can offer up advice also.

Also don't worry about offending other couples because you don't want to full swap. You will not or have not been the first couple to attend in the same situation. Politely tell the couples that you are looking only for girl play. Never know might end up finding a married female that evening that joins the both of you.

Welcome to the LS and enjoy.

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