|Question: 10 years celebration article
In celebration of 10 years of advice, here is another oldie that I resurrected for my readers.
Feeling some symptoms of swinging blues, woes, or general
bugs you canít overcome? You may be
experiencing a common lifestyle malady.
Read on for some general lifestyle ailments and some suggestions for
nursing your pains back to health.
Rising to the Occasion
Symptoms: (Male) Lack of erection, difficulty to
maintain an erection, difficulty coming to orgasm and general inability to
perform with new partners
Diagnosis: This is a common ailment often accompanied
with pressure to perform or a lack of comfort with a new partner. It is often referred to as stage fright or performance anxiety. This problem is rather normal as far as
swinging issues are concerned. Many
males in the lifestyle experience this at one point, so donít feel
defeated. Chances are, if you normally
donít experience this with your regular partner, you do not have anything wrong
with you physically. This is a
psychological issue of feeling pressure to perform. The problem can worsen with someone brand
new. We all have a certain comfort level
with our regular partners, thus alleviating the feeling of having to perform
like a champ. Feeling intimidated by a
new sex partnerís prowess, fear of not meeting her expectations, and performing
with other eyes on you can be far from comfortable. Sometimes failure to perform can also stem
from worrying about your partner- her comfort level, whether she is okay with
what youíre doing- or feeling a moral dilemma with swinging in general can
It doesnít matter how stellar you are with your regular
partner(s). Itís easy to let your mind mess
with your body.
Treatment: Simple solution: Talk with your partner and make sure that
youíre both on the same page so that nobody is uncomfortable with what may
happen in bed with others. Peace of mind
goes a long way. Next, get your hands on
some Viagra or Cialis. They work
wonders! These wonder pills can often
override the mindís overbearing tendencies, allowing you to enjoy
yourself. Ladies, if you are having this
issue with men, it is perfectly okay to procure some little helpers and offer
them to your sex partners.
Little Green Monsters
and Female) Undue focus on your partnerís activities with the opposite sex,
overreacting, irrational emotions, feelings of insecurity or inadequacy
Diagnosis: This is
another common occurrence that is often seen at the outset of lifestyle
experimentation. Jealousy can rear its
ugly head at the outset of your journey.
But beware, if these symptoms persist, deeper treatments may be
necessary to find the root of the problem.
When you are paired up with someone, as in marriage, you
Ďbelongí to each other. Now youíre sharing your most sacred Ďbelongingí- your
mate, the one you love. Twinges of
jealousy have less to do with logic and more to do with emotion, instinct and
societyís general view of monogamy. Itís no surprise that many experience some
form of jealousy and insecurity when first sharing our mates.
Treatment: First, talk to your mate about your feelings. Communication is the key to tackling so many
swinging issues, so itís natural to communicate about feelings of
jealousy. Even if youíre a couple who
has a solid secure relationship that is built on trust, itís okay to be feeling
this. This is a natural part of loving your mate. Explain to your partner that
even though it seems completely irrational, youíre still feeling pangs of
jealousy. Make sure you keep this communication healthy and ongoing. You probably need continual reassurance from
your partner to calm these feelings, and thatís acceptable. A loving partner will understand this and
Usually, after some time and more experience, the jealousy
will subside. It takes time for people
to wrap their minds around something like swinging. It takes time to realize that itís just
sex. No emotional ties- that is reserved
for you and your other half.
The purpose of swinging is to enhance an already incredible
bond. Twinges of jealousy come with the
territory, but if these symptoms persist and turn into excessive jealousy an
ongoing security, further interventions are necessary.
Excessive jealousy can stem from underlying weaknesses in
the relationship. If your sex life is
less than stellar, seeing your partner have mind blowing sex with another
person can be a huge catalyst for jealousy.
If you are lacking in other areas of your relationship, swinging is not
the best bet, and will increase jealous tendencies. This is usually the time to back away from
swinging to work on your relationship.
Symptoms: (Male or Female) One half of a couple is not cranking your motor, general
hesitance to jump in bed with someone, feelings of wanting to run away
Diagnosis: Lack of a four-way connection
Treatment: So, your partner is completely into another couple. Youíre not feeling the same way. This does not mean that you must ďtake one
for the teamĒ and jump in the sack with someone to whom you feel little
attraction. If youíre not into someone,
tell your partner. They arenít a
mind-reader. Donít allow the action to
progress if youíre not into it. This
will only lead to resentment and disdain for swinging.
The best bet: Wait
until both of you are attracted to
the couple, then get busy.
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