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Question: Handling jealousy as the GF of a couple

Dear Lounge Advice,

I am a single woman who stumbled upon this LS. I have become involved with a happily married man. They have been in this for a while, and she has a playmate that she sees regularly. I am his first "relationship" outside of couple play. They have been great about trying to help me understand and are going at my pace. We as a collective are very open and communicate very well. His and my relationship is great, and I have a seperate friendship I am building with her.

Thing is, I am new to this. I have a few reservations and concerns. I just don't know how to handle them and not drive him nuts by wanting to discuss things. He is not the greatesst at talking. I try to talk to her, but honestly I'm still pretty shy on some topics.

I guess my biggest concern is my jealousy. I'm not jealous of her, and I'm very aware they have a healthy and active sex life. However, the thought of him with someone outside of that doesn't sit too well with me. We've talked about it, and he doesn't push it, but it's going to happen and I don't know how to handle that. I'm also not exactly at a comfort level of having someone else besides him in my bed. I've considered it, but I'm not there yet.

How do I handle this as a single woman not really in the LS playing the role of GF????

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

You are in more than a sexual relationship, obviously. Feeling jealousy means that you have developed feelings. As much as it pains you, you need to have this discussion with both of them, preferably together. You can't just keep these feelings cooped up, or you'll go mad. You may not have control over who they play with outside of you, but they may be able to provide you with reassurance. In any case, an open discourse almost always helps out in situations like these. If you aren't comfy outing this to both of them at once, consider opening up to her. A little it of girl to girl convo could be a big help here. An any case, TALK to one or both.
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