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Question: Opposite personalities- great in real life, disastrous in the LS

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have opposite personalities and it works very well in our real life. In the lifestyle however it seems to hinder us. One of of us is quite wild and an exhibitionist, the other is more mellow and likes more intimate settings with just one couple at a time. Whenever one of us compromises for a night it just leads to an argument and hurt feelings. Are we better off just getting out and forgetting the lifestyle?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I think the both of you need to sit down and talk about what you each want out of the lifestyle, desires, expectations (including, do you want to stay in the lifestyle)
Try to understand what you each like and find a way to combine them. And figure out why it works in your real life and not in the lifestyle.

If one tries to push leaving without coming to a consensus (especially without trying to understand one another and the situation) with the other it may build resentment.

Also there are other options:
You can play separate
Figure out why when you compromise you fight
Try hotel parties which allows for both
Throw your own parties and invite people you are both completely comfortable with

After all of that you may still want to leave but it will be as a couple, together in agreement and understanding of why
You left.
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