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Question: Making my hubby feel more included

How o i make my hubby feel more invluded?Dear Lounge Advice,

We have been in the lifestyle for 2 years now as a couple. The problems we have encountered all fall at my feet. One of the main reasons is I get extremely shy and I seem to have the inability to speak up. He is great in regards to chatting up another couple and things are great until we get upstairs. The problems we run into upstairs is that while I get play time with the other female 80% of the time she does not play with my man and he feels left out which then causes frustration when we go home because I got more "play" time then he did. I fully understand I wear blinders and I donít do social cues very well. He thinks I forget heís there because I am "wrapped up" in my own thing. Other then stopping what she is doing or what I am doing midstream because he isnít involved how do I go about making him feel more included?



Dear (Anonymous),

Easy- remember these feelings he has shared and frequently engage him in the action. Pull him in.
You donít need to stop with her. Simply integrate him and share your time more equally.
It all lies in awareness that your partner is there and should be a part of the action as fairly as possible.
Think to yourself: what if that was HIM and you sat back most of the time watching him with the other girl and he leaves you out more often than not. What would YOU want him to do in order to make you feel more included?
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