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Question: Bi Labels

Dear Lounge Advice, what is the difference between bi-sexual and bi-comfortable?



Dear (Anonymous),

Dear Anonymous,

Swinging 101: Bi Labels

In a world of swinging bisexual women, there are so many different labels. Starting out in the lifestyle scene as a woman can make your head spin. So, which label applies? What is the difference between bi-sexual, bi-curious, and bi-comfortable? Here are some concise explanations that can help a swinging lady pick the label that best suits her tastes.

Need I elaborate? This title applies to women who prefer men, and men only. Ladies need not apply, try or attempt to make her bi.

When it comes to sexuality, it isn’t necessarily a clear-cut dichotomy. Think of it as more of a spectrum. For both sexes, exploration and interest usually dictate placement on the spectrum. Bi-Curious is a great term to describe the starting point for those who are ready to explore the flipside of their sexuality. Bi-Curious is exactly as it sounds. You are curious about exploration with the same sex. These individuals may try it a few times to test the waters. Exploration of the same-sex is intriguing to an individual. They may or may not choose to act on the curiosity. If they do, it may take a few times for them to gauge whether they like it. During this phase of exploration, they remain bi-curious.
But once you decides that you like it and you continue with it, you have entered the realm of being a true bisexual.

This is usually the buffer zone between true bi-curious individuals and true bisexuals. Usually, the bi-comfortable individual has either tried their hand at same-sex play, or is merely tolerant of those who enjoy same-sex encounters.
This term usually implies that someone can keep the company of a bi/gay person without getting the “heebie jeebies”. This may go as far as being in a swapping situation and allowing the other woman to touch them or even perform sexual acts on them. A bi-comfortable individual usually doesn’t have the urge to reciprocate sexual acts on the other person unless it’s being done to fulfill their partner’s fantasies. Occasionally, you may run across a bi-comfortable woman who doesn’t mind going down on another woman because her husband wants to see it. The act doesn’t dictate their sexuality. Unfortunately, some women merely wish to fulfill their mate’s fantasies of girl-girl action. It may not be in their sexual nature, but they do this to please.

After a certain number of encounters (this number depends on the individual and is still widely debated in our community), he/she decides that they do indeed enjoy same sex encounters. They may or may not act on these urges again, but bi-sexual is more of a way of being than a state of acting. The great thing about swinging is that women (and some men) need not suppress their true bisexual nature. In ‘vanilla’ relationships, bisexuality may not be encouraged, despite one’s nature. A bisexual woman is fully attracted to other women and enjoys having sex with them. The ’sexual’ part of this term implies only that- sex. It does not mean that a bi-sexual woman wants or desires a relationship with another woman.

This is a fun term to describe truly bisexual individuals who are engaging in same-sex scenarios on a regular basis. If you encounter a bi-furious female, watch out ladies! You’re in for an aggressive gal who knows what she wants and pursues it with a fury!

Carpe Do’em (Seize the Swinger)

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