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Question: Sexual Frustrations

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I are very into each other and always had great sex. I could make her cum easily and pretty fast. After having children things changed. She is very very hard to make cum although her vibrator still gets her off. I feel bad because I am only lasting 15-30 minutes and this doesnít seem to be long enough these days to get her off. Iím more than willing to go for round 2 or 3 to complete her but, after I ejaculate I lose my erection for 10-15 minutes. In that time she says her high has come down and she rather not. Likewise while having intercourse she gets very upset when I slow down or stop thrusting to gather myself. I tell her Iím slowing down to get a second wind so i donít cum so fast. She says that makes her lose her peak as well. Iím lost and frustrated. I will add that our lives have drastically changed since we had our 2 kids. Iím just not sure if the birth process is at fault, her weight gain (she feels in attractive) or just sheer exhaustion from tussling with the kids. Any ideas how I can get her off again?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

This is a complicated situation that seems to have many variables at play. With this level of complication, you are both suited best to see a professional sex therapist. This is one of these questions that I do not feel I am qualified to answer thoroughly enough to help. This is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. I strongly urge you to seek out someone qualified to help you both through this predicament.
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