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Question: Boundary Breach

Dear Lounge Advice, My wife and I have been married for 25+ years and, while talking about it for a long time, just recently became a full swap couple. The first time was in a club, private room, with an interatial couple that was awesome. The second, in the same club, was kind of a pile of people, that was awesome. The last time, we met a couple at the club and hit it off right away. We all went into the couples room and played and migrated to full swap. I enjoyed watching my wife in multiple positions with the guy as I was enjoying his wife. I ended up having some errection issues from to much play with my wife earlier in the day but we made do! After the man came in my wife, the condom had come off, I assumed they were done. I said the lady in I would be close behind as we were almost done as well. When we walked into the area where we assumed our spouses would be talking and waiting for us to catch up, they were fucking hard core. Prior to that, I had no issues but this upset me. I felt it broke our same room rule and even felt that their connection had gone to far to fast.

We are continuing to swing and have fun however, when I mentioned my concern about what had happened, she felt I was being a control freak even though I told her I felt it broke our rules. Am I just being insecure or should I just forget it and move on? We will be seeing this couple again and I have a fear she may be looking forward more than she is letting on.



Dear (Anonymous),

Letís make this simple. Rules are agreed on for a reason. If they canít be followed, then they need to be amended or revisited. What is the point o making rules if they arenít to be followed?
Sit down with her and talk about how your rules need o be adjusted, if necessary. If you both agree that the rules are good as is, you should both agree that they should be adhered to. She is in the wrong here if the rules were set and that occurred. Hopefully, the rules WERE clear to begin with,because if they werenít, nobody is really at fault. You just need to clarify the boundaries and stick to them.
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