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Question: Telling others about people with STD's.

Dear Lounge Advice,

Here is the situation, then the ?: I had a swing date, went, had lots of sex, went home, several days later, after several missed phone calls, was told they had been tested before I went there for STD's, was given meds for STD's, and have since gotten the results that they do have an STD, I may have given something to you, you should go get tested.

I know what to do for myself, the question is what to do about others. Do I tell the people I know about this total disregard for my health, possibly my life. If they put me at risk, will they put others at risk and is that my concern. We play in the same circles, so do I run a greater risk of this coming in the back door from a partner that the indiscriminating person may have been with, especially if I don't warn people in the community about this? My question is with regards to what to say or not say to others in the lifestyle, more especially in the local community of friends and swingers?

Thanks!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

These are very delicate questions that unfortunately we can be forced to deal with at times.

First of all, there are many different kinds of STD's There are big difference between many of them-some being curable, and some being deadly.

No matter which one you are talking about, it is horrible that someone did that to you. You should consider practicing safe sex by the way!

What we would do is confront the people involved first. Tell them that is it very important to inform your circle and the community as a whole to get tested for whatever this is. Tell them that you will give them the opportunity to alert and explain it to the others they have been with, and if they do not step up and do the right thing- that you are prepared to do it for the welfare of the community.

Truthfully they should step up to the plate and do it themselves.
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