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Question: Wanting to be wanted

Dear Lounge Advice,

Iíve been feeling jealous and insecure, but not about my womanís other partners and swapping. Instead, itís because she gets more action than me and seems to be the in-demand member of this couple. Women and couples pounce on her and leave me fending for scraps (at least thatís how I feel sometimes). At various clubs and parties sheís usually the most giving person there and I guess when we swap I feel shafted because she gives so much to the other man and the other woman barely gives anything to me and is usually more focused on her. Ultimately, this just leaves me feeling unattractive to women and can be hard to recover from. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.




Dear (Anonymous),

Hi D

My recommendation would be to share this with your partner...if you havent already. Since she seems to be "the one" that everyone wants, its important that it is related to other couples that you play with that it is a "joint venture" and everyone wants to feel wanted...This could be implemented as easily as swapping in the same room close to each other and if you are being "neglected" your partner could "break-away" and give you more attention as a way of demonstrating that this is a foursome and not a threesome. Your feelings of unattractiveness are yours to deal with, although I understand where feeling "neglected" can play a role in those feelings, ultimately, the recovery you ned to engage in is being more assertive (not aggressive) when its playtime and letting your partner know what it is that you want. Good luck and keep me posted.
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