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Question: STDs and Honesty

Dear Lounge Advice,

I was a swinger when I was single and would like to enjoy the lifestyle again, now and then.

However, in the interim, I contracted genital herpes from a lying ex.

I am female and looking to play with other women. My partner is male and has not contracted it. I would like to arrange a threesome for us, but I donít want the other girl to feel anxious.

I am very careful and my last serious girlfriend did not contract it, either. I know there is always a risk, so I do not know how to go about finding a female playmate in the community anymore.

I am COMPLETELY honest with my partners and totally clean besides the HSV 2.

Is there a way to approach women in the community without this being a problem? Should I just list it on my profile?

Thank you very much for your time and advice.



Dear (Anonymous),

I would not just post in your profile...It will not be helpful, and most likely would be hurtful to your search for a female partner. My suggestion would be to do everything that you have done in the past, regarding finding a playmate, however, there will now be another layer. As you become acquainted, and once the attractiveness is mutual, I would let her know your "back story." This will allow her to make an informed decision about whether she wants to take it to the "next level" or not.

You are to be commended for your honesty. While it is a difficult truth that you now must live with, it is still your new truth and every partner you are with will be thankful for your "up-front" information...there are many in the LS as well in the vanilla world that do not have the same integrity you have.

Good Luck and Stay Sexy
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