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Question: To Play or Not to Play

Dear Lounge Advice, We have been in the lifestyle for almost 4 years now and love so many things about it. There does seem to be one big area that we just canít seem to quite figure out. (A an important one at that!) I (the Mrs) like both boys and girls but have a really hard time finding guys I want to play with.
It seems that every time I find a guy I AM interested in, the other wife and my hubby do not have a connection. I tend to just go along with whatever works for everyone else and do end up having fun, but I am starting to feel a bit resentful. (This happens because we only play together as a couple)
Is there any way in this situation to make everyone happy?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Well one of the things you could try would be to play separately...giving you both more options and opportunities. However, if that is just not an option, it may just take a little longer to find the right "match" where both you and the Mr. find a four-way connection. This is not something that comes easy in the LS because think of how difficult it is to make a two-way connection...bring in two more people and it is just that much harder. If you tend to "go with the flow" and still end up enjoying yourself, this is another avenue you may continue to explore...just not all the time so as not to create the resentment you describe...If you are having a good time, go for it, but if it begins to feel like "all the time," this is where the resentment presents itself. Pick and choose the battles you want to fight when it comes to LS situations...sometimes you may even find that where there was no connection initially, turns in to one simply because of the excitement that can be created during playtime. Lastly, I am a firm believer of never "taking one for the team." If you truly are not interested, or vice versa, then the other couple should be a no-go for both of you...Remember at the end of the night you go home with your partner and you donít want to feel resentment towards him because of a situation you agreed to. Hope this helps. Good luck and Stay Sexy.
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