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Question: Honesty is the Best Policy

Dear Lounge Advice, I have fallen for the most beautiful lady on LL. She is everything I ever wanted in a woman. She is full of life and makes me feel alive. She told me she started having feeling for me 3 years ago and I recently told her I loves her.

Now the problem We are both with Some one else (she is married) and we both canít stop seeing each other. I donít think itís lust cause we both tried to stop and we both miss each other what do we do?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Honestly...this is a bit distressing...The lifestyle is about expanding and strengthening the relationship you have with your partner...with not even the possibility of "falling" in love with anyone else...because if you are truly connected to your partner, the "need" for love from another source just is not present. My guess is that your respective partners are unaware of this information?? My first suggestion is that you make your partners aware of what has been going on for all of these years, and let them decide what they want to do about the demise of their relationship. One of the cardinal rules about being in the LS is honesty and it appears that this "new" relationship is based on anything but honesty. You are both being unfair to the partners you are committed to...the idea of any relationship is if you are not satisfied, happy and fulfilled...it is okay to move on...we live in a civilized society that allows for people to go their separate ways...there are proper channels to achieve this...and there are a deceptive channels as well.

However, I would ask yourself this, when people have affairs (and this is what you are doing) usually the reasons behind it are because there is dissatisfaction in the marriage/relationship...and unfortunately, by believing you are "in love" with the person you are engaged in the affair with, you are comparing an apple to an orange. You see, marriage requires communication, love, raising families, paying bills, life stressors, etc...Affairs are similar to "playing house"...it is a fantasy world...you typically do not engage in any of the aforementioned activities...but instead you "play" Affairs are very selfish acts that can destroy many people who happen to be in its pathway.

My advice to you and the "beautiful lady on LL" is to come clean with your partners and then let the chips fall where they may. Good Luck to you and focus on your integrity and character...it really is all we have ;)
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