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Question: Being on the same page

Dear lounge Advice,

I brought him into this lifestyle knowing and feeling we could enjoy each other I also brought him to this lifestyle because I enjoy him and our sex
as I bring him into this lifestyle I tried to explain to him the do's and don'ts and what is respectful and what is not to us as a couple.
I tried to encourage him that instead of not talking about it and leaving it up to openly to another situation That does arise its very hurtful that he shuts me out and doesn't want to talk about it.
but instead all I get is a blame game that I am NOT up to his par or I'm not in the right set mind or I'm not at his level in this lifestyle
as a couple are there any levels in this lifestyle with each other I don't believe there is.
it gets to the point that Gemini feel with each other at times that being in this lifestyle is simply not worth it anymore but we don't talk about our incidents or situations because he doesn't like to have any sort of miscommunication he believes that not talking about it and it'll just figure out by itself.
but here we are again over and over with the same scenario the same conversation or the same disagreement that we never could agree upon because he doesn't want to talk about it anymorewe never could agree on it because the conversation is cut short abruptly
we both need serious advice and want to hear from you or others.
please help us or help us understand the mutual respect for each other as a couple

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Hi

The most important aspect of the LS is communication and EVERYONE has to be on the same page. In my opinion, there are no being on "different" levels. If one partner is "more advanced" or has more "experience" (ie. being in the LS with a previous partner) and the other partner is still "finding their way...the only way remaining in the LS will work is if the more advanced partner "slows down" and allows their current partner to get adjusted. If one partner is pushing another partner too much or too fast, it is a recipe for disaster. If you cannot agree on rules and boundaries as a couple, there WILL be hurt feelings, which may potentially lead to disastrous results to you both as a couple.

The concept of being in the LS is that both partners are enjoying experiencing other potential playmates...with a MUTUAL understanding and respect for their main partner.

It sounds like there is a lack of communication going on between you and your partner and I would highly recommend seeking counseling to work through the communication issues BEFORE continuing in the LS.

Good luck and stay sexy

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