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Question: How do we approach another couple without seeming too pushy?
Dear Lounge Advice,
We are new to the lifestyle and are loving it. We've attended a couple of lifestyle parties but we are finding it difficult to get into the mix. I am somewhat shy, at first, so am having trouble "inviting" ourselves to a group. I'm looking for some advice on how to best approach another couple or group without seeming too pushy.
Thanks for you time!
We hear from some couples that always say that when they go to certain clubs/socials/parties that there seems to be little cliques and they are either shy or unsure of how to approach the situation.
A lot of the apprehension just stems from the fact that lots of couples have been married for a long time and forget what it was like to be like a single person in a bar... unsure of how to approach another person they are attracted to... and it is even more difficult if those people (or in this case couples) seem to be part of a group.
In our experience it is natural for people of common interests to cluster together as the Lifstyle clubs become almost like private country clubs... but what most people fail to realize is that it is rare that these people will not be interested in expanding their group to include you guys. Rarely is anyone precluded from joining them.
What you have to do in just bite the bullet and go up to them and just say "Hi"!!!
We know it sounds silly and simple but some people need the help. If you want a hand in an opening.. try this:
(We prefer to let the woman approach the other woman... but its fine if she is terrified..LOL)
"Hi my name is Zoey... and this is my husband Zac... (Then be honest) We have been noticing you here for some time and just wanted to introduce ourselves..."
Its gonna seem akward at first... but you will see how easy it gets after a few times and you will be laughing about the fears you had.
What do you have to lose? We are constantly quoting hockey superstar Wayne Gretsky who said, "You are definately going to miss 100% of the shots that you never take" !!!
The worse thing that can happen is that they are not interested and then you are no worse off than before. Dont worry about seeming too pushy... you are not walking up to them and asking them to have sex with you... it all starts with "hello"
The pool make look very inviting.. but you are never gonna know until you jump in the water !!!!!
Good Luck and let us know how it goes!
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