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Question: I just don't know what to do anymore?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for under 2 years. We enjoy swapping in the same room, but on one occasion we meet this couple at a regular house party. We were a new couple to this house party and meet a nice couple. We started to play in the pool and then headed inside to play more. My husband really enjoyed her BUT I wasn't into him but told myself that I can't back down now. The nite ended and on our way home in the car I told my husband that I wasn't into him, it just didn't click. It was not a good experience for me. I told him if we meet them again I wouldn't want to play with them. One night they were at this house party and I warned my husband I don't want to play with them, well they approach us in the pool and she started playing with my husband, so guess what he started playing with me. I was biting my lip because he really turns me off. I approached her and said that I am not feeling it tonite, but my husband was disappointed and upset because he says that I always get to pick the couple. I just don't know what to do anymore? Please help me!

Sweetnshy

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Never "take one for the team".....that is NOT a healthy way for your relationship to survive in the lifestyle.

Sounds like you and your husband need to have a serious "heart to heart" conversation about this issue and set down some unwavering ground rules going forward.
If it is NOT happening for one of you than it is NOT happening for both of you.

Remember...your are in this together and each of you should always respect each others feelings FIRST over hurting the the feelings of another "play" couple or turning someone down.


If you end up in a situation where you are around a couple that wants to play with you two...but you(or one of you) don't want to play with them....simply tell the couple( if they start to flirt) that you are taking a short break from playing...or something like that.
They will move along to find someone else.

Bottom line....your husband should support your needs and your feelings first...even over his own desires.

Try discussing some role reversal on this situation with him and I'm sure it will make perfect sense....





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