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Question: Some women say they are bisexual but how do you find out what they actually do?

Dear Lounge Advice,
How do you determine how bisexual a woman is???? My wife is bisexual and when we seek other couples, we prefer a couple with a bisexual woman. We have been in the lifestyle for about 2 years now and what we have are consistently experiencing profiles that say the woman is bisexual and then when we get together with them, it is always my wife that ends up "doing" the other woman with about 80%participation on my wife's part and only 20% on the other woman's part. My wife is not an aggressive bifemale and she is certainly there 50% but would like the same consideration in return. She enjoys and has a passion for another woman "doing" her as well. So the question is - how do you approach this when you are talking to a potential play couple where the woman is saying she is bisexual?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

This is a very good question as there are many different degrees of interest in bi-sexuality among women in the Lifestyle... and that is why we hate labels so much as it relates to what activities people are "into".

What you need to get comfortable with doing is to talk like adults to the other couple/female about sexual topics that are uncomfortable for many to talk about... but if you don't... you are just leaving it us to fate as women will say (and post in their profile) that they are Bi-sexual... but the label is very vague.

Most of the time if someone says that they are "bisexual with the right person" that is usually a giveaway that they are really not so sure about it.

Many times, we have encountered women who seem to be semi into it mainly because of their hubby (which we hate) and those women will usually play around with the other woman for a few minutes.. and then turn to the men.

Some women are ok with receiving oral from women but are not into returning the favor.

So what you have to do is ask SPECIFICALLY what the woman is into before you get into any playing situation. We know it will seem uncomfortable at first... but... after you bite the bullet and try it... you will learn that we are all big boys and girls and its ok to ask.

If you dont find out upfront.. then you are just rolling the dice.
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