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Question: My wife just decided we should leave the Lifestyle but is it ok to just be friends with the couples we have met?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I have enjoyed the lifestyle for over three years. We have always communicated well over any concerns. The couples we have met were always a mutual choice with each of us honoring each others limits.

Last week we played with a couple and everyone had a great time, there were no unusual circumstances involved. Three days later, my wife approaches me and states that she no longer has interest in participating in the Lifestyle. I, of course, listened to her and agreed not to pursue it any further.

My question would be; Is this common? At no time over the three years were either of us ever uncomfortable. Our enjoyement was always shared and talked about regularly. I know that I have no choice to honor her request, but I am troubled that we will have to say goodbye to a few great people that have become friends through the Lifestyle. Is it acceptable to pursue just a friendship with these people and not insult them or make my wife uncomfortable by suggesting we at least remain friends?

Thank you for your opinion.

Anonymous

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

In order to give you any advice about what your wife said to you... we would need a lot more info.. such as... did she give you a reason as to why she made that decision?

Of course you will honor what she says... but since this is something that you did together for each other as a couple, it would be nice to at least understand the WHY...

Something must have influenced her to do a 180 like that.. and its important to understand her feelings.

You need to speak to her directly first about your feelings of wanting to remain friends with the people that you met.. but you need to assure her that it is just friends and that you are wanting to be sure she understands that and has no problem with it.

As far as staying friendly with couples... yes is fine to pursue friendships with them... just be honest and upfront with them that you are taking a break from the Lifestyle activities but you are still interested in continuing your friendships with them.

If you find out more info.. or just left it out... send us an email and we will be happy to help any way we can.
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