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Question: How do you ask someone to play?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for several years and have had a wonderful time. We went to Chicago Adventure this year and there was a seminar about how to ask others to play. It got canceled due to the presenter not being able to attend because of the 9/11 tragedies.

We have never asked anyone to play in person, we are pursued and have at least a monthly rendezvous with other couples. We have pursued over the net, much easier with a screen LOL! I would like to know what others prefer on a first meeting, or another meeting, lets say at a club and that we've seen this other couple there a few or several times and want to play. We do great with the hellos and the sex its the in between part that unerves me....I know the answer should be obvious, however, would like some advice........thanks a lot!!



Dear (Anonymous),

Sometimes its not so easy or so obvious.... especially for those of us who have been married for several years and have been away from the single bar scenes... we can forget what its like to socialize like that....

Not sure just what the in-between part is like for you... but we can give you an idea of what we may do if we see a couple we want to meet at a club.....

Usually Zoey will be the one to approach the woman... after the hellos its really more like asking a bunch of questions to find out more about them... where they live.. what they do... is the woman into girls... how long have they been in the lifesytle.... what got them in the lifestyle... who initiated it.... have they had experiences... what do they do when they play....

The answers are guidelines for us... we knowthe kinds of couples/people that we are looking for..

With the answers to questions like that and watching who says what.... and the interaction between the couple... we can have a pretty good indication if there would be any chemistry there for the four of us....

If so.... usually a song will come up and Zoey would ask the woman if she wanted to dance.... and we take it from there... usually what transpires on the dancefloor dictates the rest.

At any point you want to proceed to play... how about just asking them... "Do you guys wanna play?" Worst thing they can do is say NO...

And now you dont have to spend time in a seminar.. hope this was what you were lookin for.
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