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Question: We were invited to a private party.. what goes on there... and what are expecations of us?

Dear Lounge Advice,
My wife and are are very new to swinging. We have been to two social's and we enjoyed soft swap with the wives and same room @ the second social. Now for the question we have been invited to a private party @ the home of the social's sponsor. We are not sure about what to do if and when this becomes an orgy. What are the expectations for complete open participation in an orgy scene. I know we can always say no or leave, but I am more interested in proper etiquette

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

We do not know those people and do not have any idea what goes on at their "private parties" If we are ever invited to them.. we always find out for ourselves before we think about attending.

Before we would even put ourselves in a situation that we might feel uncomfortable with... we would contact the Host of the part and share our concerns with them... and let them tell you about the group of people that will be there.. and what the expectations will be.... ask them if previous parties have turned into orgies. Ask them that before you tell them your concerns....

If you are honest and direct with them.. they should be honest and direct with their answers... and then you guys can discuss it with each other. If there are any major concerns... don't go.

Here is one more piece of vital advice for you... if you guys have determined rules and set limitations ahead of time for yourselves... DO NOT break those rules at ANY lifestyle function or activity/party.. no matter what is happening at the moment.

Make a commitment ahead of time that if a situation comes up.. that you will not even consider any changes to your rules until you have had the opportunity to discuss it with each other...away from others... during the day....and NOT in the heat of the moment.

There will always be another time.. another weekend evening.. and the other people are not going anywhere....

If you adhere to that.. .you will greatly reduce the chances of doing something you will regret or will cause your relationship great anguish.

Just as it is important to over-communicate with each other.. it is just as important to over-communicate with other couples and single so that there is very little room for doubt.

Doubt is like poison in the lifestyle.. as it is in most relationships. Remove the doubt and you are in a much better position to have nothing but fun !!!

Let us know what they say !!
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