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Question: We met a single girl and a single guy and planned to play together.. but they wanted to play alone with each other... should we try again with them?

Dear Lounge Advice,

after four years in lifestyle, my lady and i let a man join us for my ladies first fuck with another man. we played several times and then i suggested they play alone for a couple hours to be joined by me.

that went well and so my lady invited me to do the same with a friend of mine...that turned out very sexy and fun too. then this lady and my lover had a threesome.

after chatting with both friends,we decided to have a dinner for us four and then a party. we spend a week discussing all the fun things we would do, and to whom.

at the end of dinner when we said, "well what shall we do now" they shocked us by saying that they wanted to be alone and just play with themselves and left us at the restuarant.

we were shocked. the lady acted like nothing was wrong, and the guy has been apologetic ever since and has tried to make up with us. we have known him for a year and the gal just a couple weeks.

we dont want to play with the lady, but are thinking of getting back to the man for more fun.

what do you think of what happened and should we let this man re-inter our fun?

also, do many couples play separately like that, or do most have both present when a partner or couple is engaged to play?

thanks very much



Dear (Anonymous),

There are a lot of things that we dont know from what you told us... for example... the two single people you introduced... are they dating each other.. or was it just a one night thing?

Ya know there is not much better satisfaction that we can get than introducing two single people that find themselves attracted to each other and continue onto a permanent relationship.... if that is the case with those two.. then be happy for them... and dont be so selfish about your losing the night of "play"

In fact.. if they are still dating.. you may consider allowing them to further develop in their relationship before pressuring them to include you guys.

As far as whether you should allow him to re-enter your fun... again its up to you.

For us... we are just interested in letting people have fun.. and we don't take things too personally when it comes to the Lifestyle.

Its all about fun.. and if someone (or couple) thinks that they will have more fun with others... then more power too them... our thinking is... "GO HAVE FUN !!!" We don't own anyone else.. nor should we be a priority for them... who are we to put demands or make anyone else feel pressured to be with us.

Conversely, we would hate to feel compelled to required to play with anyone especially if they do not want to be there.

As far as your last question... we are not big fans of playing separately as to us... this is something that we do together.. as a couple.. for BOTH our enjoyment. We dont see what kind of enjoyment you get in that scenario... but again.. we know that it works for some.. just not for us... and we are very confident that is the same for the vast majority of other couples.

To us.. playing separate is just another form of cheating... and opens your relationship up to a great potential of problems...

What we do in this column and in answering many peoples questions is try to reduce the potential for problems by trying to guide everyone away from situations that can lead to problems... and playing separately is a big red flag for us.

Again that is for us... some people do it and are successful.. if it works for you then have fun doing it !!
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