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Question: My boyfriend says he wants to experiment in the Lifestyle but then makes excuses.

Dear Lounge Advice,
Kind of a strange situation on my end. My boyfriend likes the lifestyle, was in it with his ex. Anyway, he's expressed his desires to me and they include watching me play with another woman amongst other things. A couple of times, in the beginning, we even went to local places and "scoped out the scene". We even played once with another couple. ONCE. Here's the kicker: I've invited him to many parties and gatherings, with the idea that we'll find someone/couple and he's come up with excuses to not attend. I still go and he encourages it. How do you suggest I approach this man who seems to be full of words, not action? I'm okay with playing or not playing, just would like to know if I should encourage his desires because I agree with them, tell him to walk the walk if he's going to talk the talk, or drop the subject altogether?



Dear (Anonymous),

I'm a bitconfused (it sounds as if you are too) about what your status is in the Lifestyle. You talk about doing things with your boyfriend (are you doing them for yourself or just to please him?) are you bi or bi curious and again for yourself or just for him?

Your profile lists a single, "straight" female !

If you are doing this just for yourself that is one thing, then you can try to find out from him exactly why he is doing that. Try the direct approach it always works best, and if he is not interested, then move forward yourself.

If you are doing this only as a "couple" then you really need to sit down and communicate about what you are doing and why. Doing things as a coule does not include you going off by yourself.

The best way to succeed in the Lifestyle is to OVER-communicate.
Good Luck !!!
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