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Question: Are there other women who like to watch their hubbies with other women.. but are not comfortable playing with other men?

Dear Lounge Advice,
We have been in the lifestyle for 3 years now.It started out with my husband telling me he had a desire to see me with another woman. I had never had bisexaul tendancies though I had fantasized about being with another woman and thought it would be erotic to try. So we did and I had fun, though it did not "rock my world." Then as things moved along my husband said that he would like to have interaction with the other woman - he would enjoy watching us playing and then him being able to give her oral - he loves to do that. So I thought, ok, we will try it. We did and it was fun and he really enjoyed himself. Now, we all know how difficult it is to find a single female -so my husband suggested that we try a soft swap with another couple - I did not have any desire for another man to touch me but agreed to try it with the understanding that I would not give the other man oral. We did have a few experiences in this venue but not many as the lack of oral to the other man did not appeal to many other soft swap couples - so it limited our play. My husband then suggested that seeing as I would not give oral that it was not too much fun for the other guy and that I should consider full-swap so the other man could have intercourse with me, if no oral. I still did not have a desire to have interaction with another man but thought I would try it to see if it did anything for me and because my husband told me how much it would turn him on to watch me with another man. We have tried it four times and each time the experience was not that great for me - the men seemed in too much of a hurry to get to the intercourse part.

So now after all that rambling - here is my question, are there other women in this lifestyle that enjoy watching their husband interact with other women but they themselves prefer not to have, or to have limited contact with the other male?

Please don't get me wrong - I do enjoy the lifestyle and what it does for our intimacy. I really enjoy watching my husband interact with other women and how much he enjoys himself - that in itself is a turn on for me. I just don't enjoy interaction with other men, no matter how much I have tried.



Dear (Anonymous),

Girlfriend-you need to learn how to say that little two-letter word.... NO !!!

It seems like there is a lot of "my husband told me to..." and "my husband wanted to see..." etc in what you are saying.

It sounds as if you are wanting to make your man happy, but this is supposed to be about the both of your enjoyment. and doing anything that you dont want to do is just not healthy.

To answer your question, YES there are a lot of women that find it a big turn on to see their hubby with other women, but are just not comfortable with being with other men other than their spouses.

Are you limiting your play options? Of course, but that is the beauty of the Lifestyle. Everyone has their own views on what they like to do and what they do not like to do.

Look we certainly understand that if your hubby likes to play with other women, and you like to watch them. Iits got to be pretty frustrating for him as it is very limiting. However, you are allowing him to take part in something that 90% of the women on earth would never even consider !!!

State your desires up front. This site is a perfect vehicle for you to spell out EXACTLY what you are looking for and see what kind of response you get. You can guarantee that they wont be breaking down your doors to line up. However, anyone who does respond will definately be people you wish to follow up with.

One last point-as you feel more comfortable getting that monkey off your back. you never know that over time, your feelings may change. It sucks feeling like you are being forced to do something you do not wish to do, but sometimes when that pressure is off, you may find a new excitement that opens yourself up to new ideas and opens some doors that you closed a long time ago.

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